Substitute Teaching

I have had some pretty fantastic opportunities to substitute teach this semester. I always enjoy subbing for band best. I have also subbed for art class which made me slightly suicidal. Who knew how yarn could break fans, kids enjoyed painting faces and clothes and glue could be so powerful. I have done a lot through west genny too with the elementary general music classes. I am such an awful singer, but when teachers leave clear lesson plans all goes well. Hopefully at that age they don't care much about my voice as long as they are having fun. It is only embarrassing when TA's are assisting the class and hear me haha. A teacher just called a few minutes ago and I will be doing kindergarten through third grade gen. music at each hill (where I went to elementary school) and split rock. That should be interesting working at the school I attended back in the day. Gosh, I can't believe I'm turning 24 in less than a month.

Yesterday I subbed for a fifth grade class and to be honest, it was my favorite yet to sub for. It was fun doing science, math and social studies with them. They were well behaved and I feel I actually taught them something. To be honest it somewhat made me wonder because I have always known I wanted to teach, I just hope music is the right vehicle for me to do so.

Unemployment

I have always disliked the unknown. I don't like not knowing where I will live, what job I will have or who I may be fortunate to live near. I've applied to countless jobs in a wide spectrum of NY, NJ and CT, have heard back from many and have had even several rounds of interviews... but nothing seems to amount to anything. I want to be neat Clinton, I want to be near Kim and I want to be near my family. I can't have all three. I hope Clinton and I work out, long distance can be hard. He just gets me and it's wonderful.

So far I have subbed five days, and am hoping for a few more before the school year ends. I want to go to the gym daily. I want to lose 10 pounds and tone up. I am not over weight, though want to improve my diet and some corners ;)

This summer I also want to go back to DC. I just need to see everything again and finally get over this heavy weight in my stomache from how I left before. In my past, I have had my share of mistakes, challenges and problems I put on myself. I have learned and grown from each one, but for some reason I am struggling to get over the summer of "Dana" haha. It isn't Dana I miss, though I resent him for how he broke up with me and how he never spoke to me again after I found everything out. I need some sort of closure and I am not sure how to obtain it. I am hoping if I visit the city again and realize it is in my past, I can put things in check and move on. This is not to say I feel stuck in the past, though I hate having such a negative feeling about something I feel I can change how I view it.

I just want to be happy with myself.